Kids are like sponges, they pick up ,really anything they see or hear. My friend and I were having a casual cup of coffee , just shooting the breeze while our kids played in the back room. We also were babysitting for a friend as well . All of a sudden we heard a loud ” OUCH” than the crying followed. We ran in to see what happened. What we told made me start thinking. Is the way I raise my kids, the right way. Long story short, one of the kids hit the other. When asked why , we got ” We were playing house and she was my daughter , she did not listen so she got hit. WHAT?
So like I said earlier,kids are like sponges. The discipline that we employ on our children , are pretty much the same ones that they are going to employ on their own. The same techniques we use are most likely going to be the same techniques that they are going to use when they get older.
It us understandable , sometimes spanking your child happens. I admit , when my 5-year-old throws a temper tantrum she gets a tap on her butt, but that is really all, a tap. Spanking demonstrates that it is okay to hit, and that is not the message that we want to send to our children. You do not want to teach your children that physical punishment is a resolution for everything or a way to release your anger, and how to make a wrong , a right. You want them to be able to express what is bothering them by discussing issues, and certain situations. If your child really wants to hit something or someone, tell them to hit a pillow or better yet get them a bopper. ( Those toys that you hit and they pop back up) This way they do not hurt themselves or anyone else.
Most people look at hitting in a physical form, but emotional or verbal abuse is just as hard as a hit. Most people say , they would rather be physically hit than emotionally, because the physical bruise goes away after a while , but the emotional stays .If you have ever been physically hit, than you know the damage it can cause to self-esteem. So imagine what it can do to a child’s self-esteem.
Studies show, that kids that get slapped on the hands are less skilled at exploring, and if you think about it , it makes perfect sense. I understand that your first reaction when you child is , say, reaching for the stove, whether it is on or not, is to slap their hand away, shoot, I have done it! But instead of slapping the hand away , grab her hand lightly and explain to her/him that it is “hot” or ” dangerous”. Let them know that they can get hurt very badly, try to role play a situation.
How many times has your child ran up to after knowing that they were about to get into trouble, and hugged you ,telling you that they love you? That is them basically begging for mercy so they do not get hit. That breaks my heart. Hitting or physical abuse is not the answer. I do not want my children to be a ” afraid ” of me. i want them to respect me and feel comfortable enough to come to me when there is a problem. Don’t you want the same?
It is time to start talking and stop hitting. You accomplish so much more with words than with physical force or abuse. It is time to “explaining” the right and wrongs to our children, not abuse them.
Before I close this out, I have to tell you of a story I read on a social media site. This little 8 month old boy was stabbed in the face 90 times, all because he accidentally bit her while breastfeeding. Really? He is 8 months old and did not deserve this kind of abuse. No child should ever have to endure ANY kind of physical abuse unless it is too much hugs and kisses. These children were not asked to be brought into this world! We decided , we made that choice for them. Show them love, compassion, understanding, and that this world is not a cruel as we all think it is.