SEX is an extremely difficult subject to bring up and discuss with our kids , for most parents. i have three girls as most of you know ( if ou have actually read my blogs) and my oldest is 13. She is at that age where she thinks she knows everything and has become quite mischeivious.She has already had two boyfriends and I am not happy about that, but I remember when I was thirteen. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend, bt I did anyways.
If your child wants to be with someone, whether that is sexual or not, they will find a way without you knowing about it. But wouldn’t you want to know? Do you not want your relationship with your child to be an open one. One where they feel comfortable enough to talk to you about anything no matter how difficult it is? I know I do. This is when that “dreadful” talk needs to come into play.
Do I want my thirteen year old having sex? NO WAY! But like I said , they will find a way whether you like it or not. nI know as a teenager my mother did not have ” The Talk” with me , so I was ignorant, had no idea what I was doing. I do not want my child to be the same.
It is always a little embarrassing and awkward to talk to your child about sex. But it is essential, don’t you think? Think bout how you would have wanted your mother or father to talk to you and how you would have wanted them to start the conversation, than start it that way with your child. It is also good to find an ad or a magazine that has a related topic that maybe your child would be interested in reading. This gives you an opening. You do not want to enter into this conversation with a tone that tells your child that you feel uncomfortable. The more comfortable you are about yourself and your sexuality the easier , and your child will know. You need to be open and honest about everything, you want your child to know the truth about sex, not the ” crap” that they see on television. We are not living in a fairytale. We are living in a society that is filled with a lot of STD’s , and your child needs to know about them. You need to explain to them , that just because someone looks ” clean” does not mean that they are not carrying something.
Never judge your child if they do happen to take that step. Hopefully they won’t , but if they do, you do not want them to feel uncomfortable to the point where they will not confide in you.You want them to know the good and the bad when it comes to having sex. Let them know and make sure they understand the consequences of having sex, especially unprotected sex. Reassure your child that he/she should never feel pressured in to having sex, and if they do feel pressured or uncomfortable , than that is their body telling them they are not ready and to wait.Let them know that the first time they have sex , it should be special , with someone special, a feeling of want and not need. Also let you child know that they can catch an STD through oral sex even if they do not have intercourse.
Let you child know that you are there for them for them no matter what. They also need to know that if their partner truly cares about them that they will respect their wished and wait , and they will not put pressure on them. Explain to your child, that a relationship for a couple of months is not a serious one and that they are just getting to know each other, that being together for a couple of months does not mean they know each other.
I have explained to my daughter that , my husband and I have been together for ging on eleven years and we are still learning about each other.
Remember, do not lecture your child, listen, and if they ask a question , answer it, do not just blow them off. If you do not know the answer to a question , look it up together. Do not only talk about “sex ” with your child , talk about relationships and contraceptives as well.
Remember , your child will hear everything that you have to say. They trust you and your instincts, they know that you want to protect them. Just be open and honest.